Sudden Death Mode
by amaya-black-wings
Summary: The sordid tale of Artemis Fowl the Second, in which he gets hit with a fish and sent into another dimension... namely ours. TTP Spoilers semi-crack.
1. Fish and Glasses

**Sudden Death Mode is here~! I'm so sorry for not updating as much as I should, so to make it up, I've decided to launch this story early. I hope everyone will enjoy this and have a good laugh! **

**Now, I also know that a lot of people are wary from reading my description. "It'll also... include the author herself?! Oh lord... another sue..."**

**Read on and see if I'm flawed enough for your satisfaction. XD Kelsey is every bit as excitable as me... and as this series progresses, more and more of my quirky friends will show up. Artemis is going to have one hell of a time... **

**So, at the end of my blabbering, here it is! Sudden Death Mode chapter one!  
**

**Fish and Glasses**

"So, everything has arrived as planned."

The room was dark, the only light coming from a single computer screen. A teenage boy sat in front of it, the glow washing his already pale skin into an eerie blue glow.

A mountain of a man stood beside the boy, his face perfectly stern. "Yes Master Fowl, it appears so."

"Wonderful," He pushed away from his desk, the wheels of his chair rolling backwards. "Butler."

His hair was completely black, brown and blue eyes staring earnestly at the bodyguard. "What remains in order to make our plan complete is…"

He seemed to be debating with himself.

"Ah yes, Professor Primate the Second."

The light suddenly clicked on, stunning him only for a second. Standing at the doorway is what seemed at first was a young girl with cropped red hair. Like the pale young man, she also had mismatching blue and brown eyes. At closer speculation, the girl had features that seemed to slim for a young child and was clad in a jumpsuit of sorts.

"What are you doing, Artemis?" She questioned with a bit a laugh, "It looks like you two are planning some massive heist instead of your brothers' birthday."

Artemis pinched the bridge of his nose, evidently a bit exhausted, "Butler and I stayed up for good few more hours than we hoped if you have arrived already, Holly."

"Seems like it. Did all the decorations and food for the dinner arrive?" She set down her helmet on his desk as she walked over.

Today was the more than extravagant party for the Fowl twins, Myles and Beckett. Over the past few months, Angeline Fowl's health returned to her, and the Manor had been in relative peace for now.

Myles' vocabulary was decidedly growing rapidly, just as Beckett's taste for expensive and strange foods.

Their third birthday finally arrived, and the Fowl family believed that this would be one of the biggest, since the oldest of the siblings would be able to witness it for the first time.

The genius got up, straightening his tie. There was more than just unhappy guests at stake at this party. Opal's disappearance was still at large, and naturally, with such a heard about party, the LEP team decided it was a good idea to camp out in case she would appear.

He walked over to a stuffed monkey on a separate table. Instead of just a few phrases, he also programmed it with voice recognition, the ability to sense temperature, and solve simple math. Myles had been devastated from the vanishing of his monkey, his big brother promising that the Professor was away on a trip to learn more.

White lies couldn't hurt, especially since it will help the younger genius.

"It seems that everything is already in the kitchen. I suppose I'll go and inspect it." He walked briskly out of his office, Holly throwing on a cloak, Butler following.

The kitchen was in a state of organized chaos. The cooks were running quickly, unpacking frozen fish and bringing in various fruits and vegetables from the Fowl garden.

At the sight of teenager, all workers stopped nervously. He nodded, and that seemed to assuage them. They continued in their frantic preparation.

"They all look a bit like headless chickens running around," The LEP officer commented.

Artemis nodded, carefully slicing the various poultry and fish to inspect for any potentially dangerous strains of disease.

Ever since that day a few months ago, the boy began to take more initiative in his own tasks, needing Butler less and less for menial errands.

An assistant cook tediously picked up a fish from the approved pile. After a few seconds of straining, he appeared to trip over nothing… which turned out to be Holly.

The fish they were using were massive, slipping from the cook's hands easily. Butler quickly pushed the confused man away from falling on the fairy, which might have been potentially dangerous.

"Artemis! The fish!"

It had been launched into the air. Believing it being of no consequence, he braced himself for impact…

If kidnapping Holly and discovering the world of fairies was surprising, being hit with the flipper of a gigantic fish would have to rival on the shock list.

It was like being first slapped, which stung, but then punched as it fell on him.

Beside him, his two friends didn't know whether to become worried or burst into laughter.

His bodyguard easily pulled it off of him to find that the boy had smacked the marble floor with his head, knocking him out.

"What a way to get knocked out," She murmured, grabbing his hand and willing the magic to heal his injuries and wake him.

Seconds passed, the assistant cook had already scrambled away from the scene of the crime. The bruise that was forming on the back of Artemis' head had been healed, but no sign of waking up.

By now Butler's eyebrows furrowed, Holly now shaking his body without much care of who saw. "Artemis, Artemis… hello! Artemis! Don't tell me that you're dead from a _fish_!"

-

-

-

Artemis finally cracked open his eyes to peer into annoying florescent lights, humming quietly.

"Benjamin!"

He rolled his eyes to the left to see a couple, the woman's face covered in tears and the man smiling happily. She pulled back her wavy blonde hair and began crying again, this time most likely with happiness.

He wanted to demand who they were asking for, because he was obviously not Benjamin, but the dull pain in his arm and neck stopped him, his tongue feeling somehow too large and awkward to talk with.

"Sir, may I please ask who you are asking for?" the genius took quite awhile to give the simple sentence, his head feeling a bit scrambled.

The two blanched before the man sighed, "That's right… they said that the accident might cause temporary amnesia. It's alright, don't be afraid Ben, we're your parents."

His temper flared momentarily. Strange people were calling him by a different name and holding his hand. The last thing he remembered was being hit by an enormous fish. If this was Holly and Foaly's idea of a joke, he didn't think he could appreciate it.

"I most certainly am not afraid. I'm sorry, but I believe that you two are mistaken, my name is not Benjamin, and you are not my parents. May I please speak with someone of the Fowl family?" Artemis' speech was much easier by now, the words slipping off his tongue.

The lady laughed nervously and began patting his hand, "Uh… Ben…" her smile was strained, "You gained a pretty large vocabulary suddenly…"

"Of course," He almost snapped, "I'm sure you two are deranged, and your son must of have been a snot-nosed child that only cared for videogames and not academics. Now, may I please speak to a member of the Fowl family? At least the company?"

His supposed father almost reprimanded him, shocked at the words coming out of his son's mouth. Benjamin was a well-mannered and considerate boy. "Son… what do you mean by the Fowl family? Are they one of your friends?"

"Friends? Have you not heard of our name? Ah… yes… from your speech cadence, I would have to say you two are American, I suppose you may not have heard of Ireland's, possibly the United Kingdom's greatest and most prestigious family." It was a bit hard to not let his words slur, the second round of painkillers must have been injected into his stream, making the words mash together.

"I can't say I've heard of them… what do you mean by our? Who are they?" the older man's palms began to sweat. Something terribly wrong must have happened in the surgery.

The boy's eyes widened, "Who am I? Why, I am Art-"

The hospital door slammed wide open, the three jumped, slightly startled to Artemis' chagrin, his neck throbbing once more.

A short Asian girl with rectangular blue glasses stood at the door for only a second before stomping over to his side.

"Crap!" She announced, "Ben! I heard you got into a massive accident driving back. Are you okay?"

Her face was red, indicating she had been running, her bangs plastered onto her forehead. The glasses slipped down her nose, and she pushed them back up again.

"Oh… for goodness' sakes… for the last time, I am NOT this person in whom you speak of! Now please! Let me contact my family in peace!" he began waving his arm, too angry and drugged up to notice the pain.

The confused mother darted her eyes over the tired girl, "Kelsey, I don't think this is the right time… Ben's not himself…"

Kelsey looked genuinely worried, "Your speech pattern is really peculiar… normally you'd say it hurts like crap or something…"

If he could lift his hands to rub his temples in circles he would, but unfortunately it seemed not possible in his current condition. Was everyone in America mad? Spiro was quite a fellow to deal with, what with his irrationality, but was the entire country this unbalanced?

"I am not Ben." He said quietly, trying to use simple words, "My name is Artemis Fowl."

While the adults' eyes widened in confusion, the black haired girl burst into laughter. A vein pulsed on Artemis' forehead, threatening to pop.

"You can't be Artemis! Man, you haven't even read the books! Are you trying to prank me for the time I said I was moving to Canada?" Her laugh was a bit high and loud.

No one said a single word for a few moments. The girl stood their awkwardly. "Uh… Mr. and Mrs. Fresnon? He's kidding right? He can't seriously think he's a book character?"

"A book character!" He cried out indignantly, "America is a country of lunatics! Bring me a phone and I will prove to you idiots that the Fowl family exists!"

"You're the one being an idiot!" She snapped back.

The remaining sane Fresnon family watched as the teenagers threw angry sentences at each other.

Her black eyes shined brightly, promising violence. "How could you insult your own parents? Sure! Your vocabulary has increased, but that gives you no license to believe you're Artemis! I swear, you hit your head hard. If anyone knew Artemis it would be me!"

"You would know me better than me?" He ignored the fact that the phrase might have been confusing, "Fine, I will test you. Which song did I listen to last that could be considered plotting music?"

"Beethoven's Symphony no. Seven." Kelsey shot back.

His eyes narrowed, "Which movement?"

"Eoin Colfer didn't mention, but I have reason to believe it was the second movement, since the first was too joyful to be used to plot how to lie to his best friend and save his mother." She smiled triumphantly.

Who was this Eoin Colfer? As soon as he got out of this ridiculous place with annoyingly loud florescent lights, he was sure he would have to get Butler to find this man. What the girl knew though was frightening, but he decided to test her once again. "What was the ending key that I planned at the end of Schubert's unfinished Symphony no. 8?"

"B Minor." She answered quickly, "And I also disagreed with his younger self, it's only natural to end with B minor if you start with it, or the major equivalent at least."

For probably the second time in Artemis' life he felt dumbfounded. Here he was strapped to a hospital bed with a short Asian girl spewing out what he thought. Strange enough, she still didn't refer to him as himself. She continued to talk about him in third person, not second.

"My turn. What was Artemis' most humiliating moment?" they had seemed to reach a grudging compromise. Don't mention fairies. Not yet.

He seemed to hesitate for a moment. "When I received a ninety-nine percent on a mathematics assignment… I had forgotten to round the decimal up to the third place."

She looked sufficiently surprised. "Okay, then what does the dragonfly mean in Gn-"

"Fine!" He interrupted, not wanting her to say anything in front of the couple.

"You're scaring me, Ben." Kelsey looked… impressed, "But I guess you don't know enough to figure out the code."

Artemis couldn't figure out the right words to say in such a moment, ignoring the fairy language all together. "Do I even look like Ben? How could you continue after proving that I am Artemis Fowl?"

Her face twitched, suddenly reaching for her pocket. His eyes widened, preparing himself for a weapon of sorts.

"LOOK AND WEEP!" She screeched, shoving the back of her Ipod Nano Generation Three at his face. The silver reflective surface was scratched, but he could clearly see that it wasn't his face.

A boy with blue eyes stared back, his blonde hair sticking out at strange angles. Tentatively he reached for his face, looking at the casts on his fingers. The girl huffed. "See, I told you." Pushing up her glasses, "You can't be Artemis, you're Ben."

In that moment, he couldn't find anything to blame except for the fish.

* * *

-

-

-

**Some of you may be wondering now... What the heck is going on?! **

**I do have a plot... I think... XD So I hope that this story will have a good plot along with some good laughs. Thank you so much for reading, all of you guys.**

**This is my first attempt at something funny, so please tell me what you think by reviewing!  
**


	2. Watermelons and Wishes

**Hi you guys! Here's the promised second chapter**

**IMPORTANT NOTE:**

**IMPORTANT NOTE:**

**IMPORTANT NOTE:**

**(Got your attention now?) **

**This chapter will NOT be as funny as the first. Sorry, you just can't avoid the fact that you need an explanatory chapter sometime through. Why not do it now and get it over with?**

**The fun stuff WILL return next chapter. For now, please bear with me**

**Anyways! On to the second chapter~!**

**Watermelons and Wishes  
**

The watermelon slice cut in half with a clean snap. A blonde nurse stood a few feet away as Kelsey handed back the knife in a dangerous jab-like motion. The nurse took it warily, and walked quickly away from the other girl, who seemed to be able to wield a fruit knife like a weapon.

Artemis felt a bit more than distraught as the painkillers wore off. As his irritation subsided, the spaces between the shots seemed longer.

About ten minutes ago he had shooed away the worried parents, trying to assure them in the best voice possible that he will be alright, and that he was sorry for his outburst. He partially was, now that he realized that none of them were deranged, (as much as he thought) and that he was the source of the predicament.

"Do you want some?" the girl almost timidly handed the watermelon over, obviously much more conscious of her actions now.

Her anger died away, and her mind was fogging up. Benjamin clearly did not read the series, but after he woke up from an almost life threatening accident, he spoke like Artemis and knew enough knowledge to rival her?

His eyes seemed to turn into ice. "If you know me all that well, I'm sure you'll know that I will not take it."

The girl was a completely different matter though. How did she know so much? And why?

She seemed to mentally berate herself and began eating the fruit.

"How do you know so much?"

"Are you really Artemis Fowl?"

She leaned back, acting surprised at both of their sudden questions. "Okay, well… prove to me that you're Artemis, and I'll tell you again why I know."

Again? He could feel his right hand itching to drum its fingers against a hard surface. No such luck. The genius nodded, the blonde hair flopping in his face. There was probably no threat in proving himself to her if she already knew this much.

"I've never heard it before… but…" Kelsey seemed to look embarrassed, "Speak Gnommish."

He carefully watched her actions. She obviously thought the idea of speaking a fairy language was foolish, so she wasn't from Opal. "_There, satisfied?"_

Her eyes widened with almost giddy excitement, "Say some more!"

This is it, she thought, her own mind disbelieving, this is really him. She almost wanted to pinch herself, but was afraid that if she did, she would really wake up.

"_I have nothing else to say to you. Now, tell me how much you know._"

She evidently didn't know what he was saying, but caught on as soon as she remembered her deal. "Er… what should I do… oh!"

The Asian girl swung her bag around, pulling out a rectangular book with a gold cover. His name was clearly printed on the front. He could only stare for a few seconds, then took it quickly.

"I don't know how to say this, but… this is your book. The story of your life starting from when you were twelve."

He could hear her, but he didn't respond.

_Stay back Human, you don't know what you're dealing with._

Holly's famous first words to him were on the back, for the world to see.

"You're pretty lucky. I was going to give this to Ben to read in case he was bored during the stay… I've been telling him to read if for years now."

The pages were frayed, and when he opened the book, he saw Gnommish letters on the bottom of the pages, and light English ones, deciphering word for word in pencil above them.

Artemis could only read a few sentences to know that it was clearly accurate, the memories of his kidnapping jolting to the front of his brain. "How does… this person, Eoin Colfer, know so much?"

"He's your author," She couldn't find a less awkward way to explain, taking the book and flipping it to the first page, "He even signed all my copies the last time I went to see him."

The autograph stood out.

_To Kelsey, _it read, then his name signed in a flourish, _Fowl Wishes. _

"How many of these… unofficial autobiographies exist?" He was unsure. What was this place? Simply America, or somewhere else completely different?

She put the book back into her bag, "Six right now. How old are you right now? Not your legal age, your real one."

"A little over sixteen," so she also knew of the time skip.

Kelsey pushed up her glasses, "Your latest book just came out-"

She stopped before opening her mouth in a way that suggested a silent scream, "Oh my Lord, this does NOT make any sense. Artemis Fowl pops up in my world in one of my best friends' bodies and I sit around talking about his age."

"I would have to second that," He murmured, suddenly marveling at their previous calmness, "I would suppose it came from the shock on your part, and for me, my medication… would you please explain how I got into this accident?"

"Ben was driving back home from the party we had at my house. Some idiot ran a red light… and I was the closest one to get to the hospital." At least, that was what she heard from his parents over the phone. With the strange incident, she couldn't be so sure.

Artemis started picturing how the boy had gotten his injuries and made a mental assessment of how long it would take for him to heal. "So, you and your friend should be around seventeen?"

"Yeah," Here they were again talking about age, "Look, do you remember the last thing that happened before you er… woke up here?"

The Fish Incident.

"A heavy blunt object hit me accidentally, after that I would have to say I might have hit my head against the marble floor, knocking me out." He watched her as she finished off the rest of the watermelon.

The girl pointed at his orange juice. When he didn't seem to want it she took it, cracking open the plastic seal. "Ah… Okay… have you guys caught Opal yet?"

He mentally grimaced. He couldn't be sure that he was really in a different dimension, but the best course of action seemed to be cooperating with the peculiar Asian girl. With the information she had obtained, she held a trump card. "Not yet."

"If you think I'm gonna black-mail you with what I know," she mentioned suddenly, taking a swig of the juice, "It's virtually useless. I'm just thinking the best course of action would be to stick with someone that you 'appear' to know, that also knows your 'mind.' You try to go out there, you'll be looked at like a crazy or raped by fan-girls… and I don't want you mistreating Ben's physical body while he's gone."

So she had also thought this out thoroughly. "I will agree for now."

* * *

Benjamin woke up with a start.

It was light out, the bright filtering in a slow haze.

"Artemis! You're awake!"

He turned to see a brunette woman smiling next to him. Beside her, a very… _very_ large man and a very… _very_ small redheaded girl.

It took him a few moments to get his bearings. They all watched him silently, making him feel more than awkward. All he could remember was that he was in a car accident driving back from his friend's house…

Abruptly the small girl came over and looked at him curiously. "You're not dumb or mute are, you? What would the whole world say about Artemis Fowl if that were to happen after a fish hit him?"

"Oh Arty," the lady laughed, "You know we've talked about this before, so I do know about Holly… at least nod to show me that you understand and you're not worried."

Who was Artemis anyways? And why wasn't he in some serious pain after that accident?

Wait.

"I'm not who you're talking about… where am I?"

His own voice was foreign. It had a strange accent to it, a different quality…

They all blanched. The girl spoke again, "Looks like you hit your head pretty hard… but then again, I healed you… do you think this might be Opal's doing?"

His eyes widened suddenly.

Artemis

Holly

Opal

_Page 364 paragraph four through eight is definitely my favorite. He totally shoots Opal in the face with a flare gun!_

Kelsey… She was talking about... -Artemis Fowl! _Artemis Fowl_!

He shot out of the bed, looking down at his hands. They were more slender and pale, the left hand's index finger oddly longer than the middle.

"Could… could someone get me a mirror?"

The large man silently handed one over, and the reflection he saw made him ready to pass out all over again. After a tense silence, he finally set it down, now finally noticing his bearings.

He was in an ornate room on a large four poster bed, the carpet of the floors and walls all dark woods and colors. Outside there were hills that seemed to stretch on to eternity.

Benjamin took a deep breath. "I know this sounds weird… but I'm not Artemis Fowl."

A look of pain flitted over the woman's face before Holly put a hand on her shoulder, urging her not to worry.

The red head and the large man shared a glance before she spoke. "Don't worry. We've been through weirder situations with him anyways. We don't know whether to trust this or not, but being Artemis after all-"

"-anything can happen." He finished for her, slowly understanding with a strangely calm feeling.

Maybe he hadn't realized the full extent of his situation, but he couldn't hold any single feeling to what was going on.

The fairy laughed nervously, "But… how do you know about us then? Do you know about us?"

"You're…" He struggled to remember the bits of Kelsey's excited conversations with others about the books, "You're Holly, and a fairy… right?"

So he did know. She warily reached for her Neutrino Gun. "How do you know this?"

Benjamin winced, he really hoped that this question wouldn't come up. "This is really really hard to explain… but I think I just fell into a book. All of you are book characters."

He was greeted with a stony silence.

That, and the thought that Kelsey could only wish to be in such a predicament.

* * *

**Here it is, ONCE AGAIN, sorry if this wasn't as funny as the first. Like every story, you need an explanatory chapter, and this one was it.**

**The funny stuff will return!**

**But for now, please review! I always want to hear what people think!  
**


	3. High School 101 and Pizza Thursday Rush

**Seems like my delays just get worse and worse, huh? Well, either way, my apologies, and enjoy : D**

**Private School 101 and Pizza Thursday Rushes****  
**

After the agreement, a very very tense partnership settled in. A few days passed, and Artemis' borrowed body was deemed alright to leave the hospital. He had not needed such a long stay in the hospital ever since his encounter with fairy technology, so he was itching to do something productive by the end of the stay.

Then, another few weeks passed as well. Kelsey had given him an extensive write up of Benjamin's actions, in hopes that he would cooperate and play his part.

"Just cooperate for now, it's safest and has the least hassle for me and you." She had said, slapping down the notebook.

"You and I." He corrected automatically.

The girl gave him an aggravated look. "Yeah, you and I. Anyways. You'll be entering school again… that'll test just how well you've gotten down his character."

Instantly he felt a migraine coming on. "School…" he muttered darkly.

"Look, I'm sure homework will pretty much be a breeze for you… but there are some things that will piss you off." She looked a bit warily at him.

This has proven to be the most aggravating situation he'd ever been in. Living out his days pretending to be an average cheery kid, cooperating with a nonsensical Asian girl…

"You think I'm nonsensical, don't you?" She broke into his thoughts.

He looked up at her curious face, slightly startled. "No… not in the least bit."

His face twitched.

"Ahh…" She sighed, "You don't have to lie to me. I write fanfictions, so I'm an expert in your reactions."

"Fanfictions?"

It was her face's turn to twitch. "I'll… I'll show you that some other time… Anyways! School!"

Although this was quite an unprecedented incident, he couldn't help but be a bit curious of his own skills. How easily would he be able to mock someone else? He would figure out this out soon, but for now he'll play along.

"-Get ready for Pizza Thursday." She had been talking for awhile, "Hey, are you even listening? Psh. Fine. You deal with Pizza Thursday yourself."

Pizza Thursday?

* * *

It should have been pronounced the saddest looking private school he had ever seen in his life.

It was a small campus filled with one story buildings. The formation was a square, with a large outside eating place as the center.

Everything was outside.

"Are you sure this is considered a private school in California?" His face scrunched up in a displeased look, and oddly, it seemed like his facial muscles weren't used to it.

Her face was as smooth as glass, evidently trying to keep the conversation as normal looking as possible. "You're actually lucky. Most private schools and public schools are made of mobiles rooted to the ground."

A row of lockers stood across the main class buildings on one side of the square, across was the gym and the music room, to the left was the building they called the "Y building," and to the right was the library.

Early students began to filter into the quad and towards their lockers, talking loudly over the ear-breaking volumes of their ipods.

After bumping and shoving their way through for awhile, they arrived at the second to last row of lockers were a few students suddenly ambushed him.

"Ben! You're okay!" A tall girl with short brown hair rushed towards him as a second shorter girl ran with her.

While they attempted to strangle him to death, Kelsey looked on, her face showing that she was obviously amused.

"Megan…" He looked at the taller, "And… Abbey."

"And they said you forgot everyone after the accident!" Megan beamed, happy that this wasn't the case.

Abbey looked pensive, brushing away her brown bangs that were whipping at her face. "Kelsey, weren't you the first one there? What did you see?"

Unconsciously he sucked in his breath.

"Nothing in particular." She answered quickly, "He just looked like he came out of a cartoon with so many casts, but that was it- oh! Hey!"

A boy with a blonde bowl cut had almost silently approached them, nodding at Kelsey before turning to the rest. He wore a large worn-out looking jacket, and one of his shoes were untied.

It took everything Artemis had to not say anything.

"Hey." The boy's voice was almost flat, "Faring well, I see."

"Quite." He replied automatically.

In response they all looked at him strangely.

"Well you're not dead, and that's a good thing." The other continued while rocking slightly back and forth.

The carefully put on Ben-face was cracking under the pressure.

Kelsey laughed nervously. "Tom… how has it been?"

"Doing fine."

The bell rang, and almost instantly the girl lunged towards the genius, dragging him backwards while waving goodbye quickly.

* * *

They had walked past foul smelling bathrooms and girls in too short skirts while she debriefed him about the "Tom" situation.

Tom is smart. Tom is strange and likes to steal pencils. Do not let Tom's uncleanliness annoy you because Tom is something to get used to.

It would take him quite a long time.

"Tom is probably the only one here that… if you burst into Artemis-mode he would know what you're saying."

The idea was simply so ludicrous he couldn't help but rearrange this face's features into a blank stare. She clicked her tongue. "Don't give me that face. It looks like someone just shoved a lollipop up your nose."

This girl… he decided…

Was completely and utterly stupid.

"Do you want me to try?" She smiled sweetly.

And violent.

It seems that a loss for words would be something he would just have to get used to in this dimension.

They stopped in front of a classroom decorated with colorful and half-hearted posters. Most likely all last-minute projects. "Here's Spanish." She waved at another girl inside, "Good luck."

And pushed him in.

By the time lunch bell rang, Artemis felt like he was about to regain control of the situation. He immediately made plans to obtain a computer to make some calculations.

As he exited the History classroom (Which was clearly biased), someone slapped him on the shoulder. "Hey!"

The boy turned around grudgingly, realizing that Kelsey was nearly a head shorter than him in this body.

She frowned. "Shut up."

"I haven't said anything." He replied calmly.

The girl pointed her index finger defiantly at what seemed to be his nose. "I know what you're thinking. I'm short. Too bad you don't have Butler, because in this dimension, I can kick… and he can't shoot me in the head for it."

"I have to ask," Ignoring the threat for now, "What gives you the nerve to speak to me in such a way?"

"Because of other things regarding this situation." She answered instantly.

"What-"

And suddenly, hundreds of students backed up to the lockers, a few tripping over their backpacks.

From the other side of the school you could hear indistinct screeches. He looked over to Kelsey, and just his expression demanded answers from her. She shrugged. "Thursday Pizza Rushes."

What seemed to be hundreds of children ran out from the other side of school, pushing other more unfortunate victims out of the lines. Some even had backpacks that effectively ran over the upperclassmen left in the mob.

"Sixth graders at our school are vicious for pizza… and most of them are too small for a normal backpack…" She spoke over the victorious cries of pint-sized junior high students.

In his normal body, Artemis didn't have the chance to pale in fear.

He got the chance this time.

Somehow they had reminded him of an angry red-head with a clear to shoot…

"Hey!" Megan popped out from under a pile of backpacks. "Glad that's over with… Oh yeah, Kelsey, how's the fanfiction going?"

Fanfiction. She had mentioned it before…

The girl jumped in response. "Uh…" Quickly she shifted eyes towards him, and he was obviously looking back at her.

"Which one-"

"The one where Artemis and Ben switch places of course!"

Silence was thick in the air. The taller girl looked worried, "Did I say something wrong?"

"I refuse to cooperate in this charade any longer." He spoke clearly, "I demand answers, and I will receive them in any way how."

She wasn't as stupid as he thought.

* * *

**Finally we're getting around to the plot! Next chapter they're be one more major character introduced. Thank you for reading, and please review! **


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